Zen in Ten: "A" is for "Anger"
Thich Nhat Hanh's "Wisdom for Cooling the Flames"
Hello Spark Zen readers! I hope this post finds you in good spirits and health. Lately, I’ve been taking a deep dive into the Five Hindrances, the second of which is “aversion” or “ill-will” or “anger.” Below are quotes from Thich Nhat Hanh's book Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames, published by Riverhead Books, NY 2001. I hope you find his words helpful in working with this difficult emotion. Bows of peace from San Francisco.
“When someone says it does something that makes us angry, we suffer we tend to say or do something back to make the other suffer, with the hope that we will suffer less. We think I want to punish you, I want to make you suffer because you have made me suffer. and when I see you suffer a lot, I will feel better.”
“Many of us are inclined to believe in such a child is practice. the fact is that when you make the other suffer, she will try to find relief by making you suffer more. The result is an exclamation of suffering on both sides both of you need compassion and help. Neither of you need punishment.”
“When you get angry, go back to yourself, and take very good care of your anger. And when someone makes you suffer, go back and take care of your suffering, your anger. Do not say or do anything. Whatever you say or do in a state of anger may cause more damage in your relationship.”
“Most of us don't do that. We don't want to go back to ourselves. We want to follow the other person in order to punish him or her.”
“If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is to go back and try to put out the fire, not to run after the person you believe to be the arsonist. If you run after the person you suspect has burned your house, your house will burn down while you're chasing after him or her. That is not wise. You must go back and put out the fire. So when you are angry, if you continue to interact with or argue with the other person, if you try to punish her, you are acting exactly like someone who runs after the arson as everything goes up in flames.”
“The Buddha gave us very effective instruments to put out the fire in us. The method of mindful breathing, the method of mindful walking, the method of embracing our anger, looking deeply into the nature of our perceptions, and the method of looking deeply into the other person to realize that she also suffers a lot and needs help. These methods are very practical and they come directly from the Buddha.”
“To breathe in consciously is to know that the air is entering your body, and to breathe out consciously is to know that your body is exchanging air. Thus, you are in contact with the air and with your body, and because your mind is being attentive to all this, you are in contact with your mind, too; just as it is. It needs only one conscious breath to be back in contact with yourself and everything around you, and three conscious breaths to maintain the contact.”
“Whenever you are not standing, sitting, or lying down, you are going. But where are you going? You have already arrived. With every step, you can arrive in the present moment, you can step into the Pure Land or into the Kingdom of God. When you are walking from one side of the room to the other, or from one building to another, be aware of the contact of your feet with the Earth and be aware of the contact of the air as it enters your body. It may help you to discover how many steps you can make comfortably during an in-breath and how many during an out breath. As you breathe in, you can say in, and as you breathe out, you can say out. Then you are practicing walking meditation all day long. It is a practice, which is constantly possible and therefore has the power to transform our everyday life.”
“Anger is like a howling baby, suffering and crying. The baby needs his mother to embrace him. You are the mother for your baby, your anger. The moment you begin to practice breathing mindfully in and out, you have the energy of a mother, to cradle and embrace the baby. Just embracing your anger, just breathing in and breathing out, that is good enough. The baby will feel relief right away.”
“Your anger is like a flower. in the beginning you may not understand the nature of your anger, or why it has come up. But if you know how to embrace it with the energy of mindfulness, it will begin to open. You may be sitting, following your breathing, or you may be practicing walking meditation to generate the energy of mindfulness and embrace your anger. after 10 or 20 minutes your anger will have to open herself to you, and suddenly, you will see the true nature of your anger. It may have a reason just because of a wrong perception or the lack of skillfulness.”
Thank you for sharing. I had just added this book to my "to-read" list. It's nice to have both the synchronicity of your post and the helpful highlights.